FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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