Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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