i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
