Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
