I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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