Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize