u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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