i may or may not be watching the land before time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize