last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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