you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
