Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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