Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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