chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
