Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
thus making me awesome and them whores
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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