If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
