Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
