Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
