My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize