please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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