we're blogging at a bar
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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