i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
