Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my poor anus
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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