What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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