this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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