Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
