We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
