He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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