Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
