Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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