This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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