your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
