I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i dont even know how to be here
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
