At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
