We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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