Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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