My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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