Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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