One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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