carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
