Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Fuck appropriateness.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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