those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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