She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
