My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
