I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
