I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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