what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He felt like a one man threesome
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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