I think my vagina is haunted
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
