Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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