We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
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You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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