Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
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I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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