I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
