I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
