shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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