she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
