I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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