Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize