literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
