She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize