fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
