Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
