we're chasing vodka with high fives
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
